Growth happens every day and I feel that I have grown today. I learned some hard lessons about being in a position of authority. Whether the boss of a business or dealing with the management tasks of a volunteer group. I learned that when you are making decisions that have to do with the betterment of the group/company whatever, you cannot think of anybody as a friend. Because in this case they just happen to be your friend. I see why the BOD of another organization is so tough on their staff and their heads.
It is easier to do your job when you are detached. When you do not have that connection. It is harder to do your job when your staff is not as important to you out side of these events. Then you know them, but you are not friends with them, you do not have to worry that they will make you upset, or say something that makes you sad.
But in my case this is not what I want I’ve said that I would like to do a lot of what I did today. I want to say hello to every person and smile at them and tell them to have a great time and mean it! I can do that today but how long will that last? If we get too big how long will it be before I am riding around in a golf cart, not connecting with people? How long will it be before I get a really mean nick name? I don’t want that. I am trying like heck to make the most of the learning this festival will offer. I am happy for the experience that have planted themselves firmly in our heads because that means I will remember it from next time.
I have also learned that it does not matter how much stimulation your mind is getting when you have only had 45 minutes of sleep in the last 36 hours your body will eventually say piss off! I am so tired right now that I do not know if I will make it back to camp before I fall flat on my face. The last bit I have is that I still love what I do and why I do it. I will help make this festival something to talk about. Tomorrow the headliners will be there and I am wondering how much time I will end up spending with them. I don’t know but I will enjoy the opportunity should it arise.
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The only thing I can tell you is that it doesn’t matter what others think of you. What they think, good, bad or indifferent is on them. You can’t do anything about it. The only thing you can do is be true to your beliefs and your vision. I have said it a million times, if what you want to do makes you happy and you’re doing whatever it is for the love of it others will come. Or not. Either way the thing your passionate about is your calling. You cannot ignore the call. You simply must obey.
And that is beautiful. Because the blessings will come. You worry about you and let the Gods worry about everyone else.
But I also believe Amanda, that sometimes you have to remove yourself from caustic situations and people. Because, harm none, means yourself too.
I do not really care but I do feel that if they are calling me something awful it is because I have changed. But I know that change is for the good and that the Gods have always put people in my life that I need to be there. That happened over the weekend too and I learned an invaluable lesson!